oh Vlogs.....i couldn't resist...

What is everyone's problem?

Today is thursday.
It's thanksgiving.
I don't have anything i am thankful for.
I thought i did.
But, i was wrong.
I thought i could be thankful to have you in my life...
but you hurt me.
And i thought i could be thankful to be alive..
But i'm not much enjoying life.
I thought i could be thankful for being able to play guitar, but my fingers hurt, and i can't even get one song out without fucking up.
I thought i could be thankful for being pretty. But i'm ugly.
I thought i could be thankful for being loved. But i'm not.
I thought i could be thankful for being smart. But i can't stop making stupid decisions.
I thought i could be thankful for where i live. But i hate it here with every ounce of my being.
I thought i could be thankful for the people around me. But they couldn't care less about me.
I thought this season was supposed to be a happy time. But i can't stop being sad.
I thought everything was going to be ok. I guess i was wrong.

Jamie T.

Jamie T. - Salvador


Jamie T.- If You Got The Money

Everybody Knows the Bird is the Word

Joy Division- Shadowplay



Death Cab For Cutie- I Will Possess Your Heart

My art

THE WALRUS ONE

Untitled

Fog

Last Days pt. 1


Last Days pt. 2

Creative Destruction

Death on Your Windowsill



Untitled

WAR AND PEACE

MANHATTEN MURDERER

LADY AUDREY IN BLUE

Wise Eyes


Mr. Lennon


The Window of Desperation

Thoughts

Accident

Through a False Window


The King's City

Untitled

Time Travel

Midnight

11:39pm: Unwanted apathy of the Nightshift clerk

How do i even start?
I honestly....don't know.
My eyes burn, for the want of tears....
and i can feel myself slipping...
Do i even dare tell you how i feel about you?
If i do, am i to be shot down?
or do you have the same feelings?
Does it even matter?
it doesn't seem like we have much longer anyway.
You might...
But i'm not so sure about myself.
The silent desperation...
You can see it in her eyes..
the pain, and hurt...and want...the need...
All bottled up inside..hidden from the rest of the world...
She keeps her door shut,
Blinds closed...
She blocks out the rest of the world...
all she wants...is for you to BE HERE NOW.
She wishes she had the heart you have..
You never seem to be....alone.


When you look into her eyes...
really look INTO them...
you see her soul
and you feel yours.
you become aware that things are not as you thought they were.

Homeless

If i were homeless. Completely poor. A tramp. I'd break the law, so i could go to jail, and have shelter, food, and a bed to sleep in. Not to mention showers, and a loo.

Contemplation

I've been thinking...
about quite a lot of things...
rather...depressing things...

Is this really a reality? I mean, i honestly don't know where the artificial stops and the real starts. It's a bit frightening....not that i'm scared..but just of the fact that because it feels like a movie...i tend to treat it that way.... The drugs, the drinking, staying up all night, sleeping all day, not sleeping for several days...suicide attempts... I can't honestly take things literally if i believe it's only make believe.
I paint, and draw, and play guitar...but most other things i do are destructive..not only to me, but the people and things around me...