When will it end?

No food
No water
No tears
No pain
No sad
No Glad
Anger?
NO.
A Windowless room
Empty
Full
Glass wall
Falling Falling
Down
Down
Down
Where are you now?
Come Back
Come Back
He dreams
She screams
Silent....
....
.....
.......
........
..
...
Has time past?
Speed
Rhythm
No Control
Where am i now?
No recognition
Familiarity
Mind says no
Body Doesnt react
Who is saying these things?
Not me
Not Self
Not I.
I remember
Everything
Nothing
These memories
Aren't mine
Eyes Closed
YOU
YOU
YOU
AWAY
I am alone
Who has control?
NO ONE.

Morning

i woke up
sunlight shining on my pale cold skin
It was morning and i knew then
i was livid with fear
I was shaken with hate
To put it simply i was terrified
In this jumbled up
messed up
fucked up state

My mind spins

I glance at the clock
It was broken
I looked down at my feet
they were bare
I put my coat on and stepped out
Into the sun
Into the cold
Onto the pavement

Small rocks
tiny rocks
Glass
Cigarettes

The ground is so dirty
The earth i stand on
such filth

I reached for the newspaper
i dont read them

My chair
Empty Chair
Red Chair
Velvet
Sipped my morning tea

No thoughts
only sounds
Tick Tick Tick
Hot metal

Most dont stop to listen and feel
Thump thump thump
Heart
Thump Thump

Theres a crack in the wood on the floor
An old mans face
He doesnt look happy
Theres a knot in the plank
An eye

The picture frame is crooked
And the room is cold
I could see my breath

A shiver down my spine
Back to bed
but i felt fine

Theres a hole in my blanket
duvet
Sheets
Matress
The springs creaked

Thump Thump Thump
i heard it
beating
my ear was pressed upon the pillow

The sun shown on the floor.